Alex Mcreynolds
Alex Mc is a big drinking Irishman. So no stereotypes there then! The prodigal son has recently returned from a two year spell in Prague. It was actually meant to be just a weekend but at 40p a pint he figured he'd hang around a while. Whilst out there he was lucky enough to have a son himself. That's almost the start of a joke isn't it? Aside from cheap labour what do you get when you cross an Irishman with a Czech? I won't go there, it's got lawsuit written all over it!
Amanda Thomas
"Amanda Hug & Kiss" is her formal title. Amanda's our Birthday Fairy, complete with magic wand. She grants 'birthday wishes' - although they never work since she's still here! Her bossiness and organising keeps us in-check. Cross her palm with silver and she'll take it and ask for more - the sign of a typical Brummie.
Angela Philips
Angela's an avid Liverpool FC Fan and has the temperament of a losing, stressed-out England manager. Her knives are sharp - so watch your meat and 2 veg! This chef's culinary skills and most importantly her dessert portfolio are very impressive. Her legendary Banoffee Pie guaranteed her Hell's Kitchen 2004 prize. Hell being the key word!
Carey-Anne Inns
Carey-Anne is our resident Kiwi and seeing as rugby is called football where she comes from she naturally supports the All Blacks, at least when they are winning - which seems to be in between every World Cup. She helps quench the thirst of the UK with stylish Italian beer, often by downing a few her self at her local watering hole in Primrose Hill (darrrrrling) where she can be found most weekends. Well, when she is not traipsing over Europe in true antipodean fashion anyway.
Caroline Teo
Born in Singapore, Caroline has lived in Bermuda, Vancover, Montreal and currently London. In fact she's lived in more countries than Phileas Fogg. She carries her pet Huskie Tinkerbell wherever she goes, which would seem to be quite a few places.
Chris Love
Chris was conceived when a tiny meteorite from outer space punctured the tin lid of a pint of milk as it was being delivered one morning during 1979. Well that is what his mother told him. Actually the existence of Chris Love is deemed by many scientists as one of the great mysteries of modern science. A recent DNA test revealed that he is only 33% human, the other 77% being an unknown substance that Molecular Biologists could only describe as pure amazingnessness.
Chris McIlveen
Christian is from t'up north in Yorkshire and sadly for him he has done nothing to dispel any of the myths and stereotypes associated. He consumes on average 13 pints before breakfast and smokes like a coal fuelled power station, to the point he is actually largely responsible for global warming. He once quit smoking, I only know this because when asked if he had a cigarette he responded "I ain't got nowt" which I think means no but who can tell?
Csilla Kerrison
Csilla reigns from Hungary where mother-in-laws are regarded as evil by nature and any country advertising that as a national fact is alright in our book. Csilla is the quiet lady in accounts that you need to watch. Slim, pretty, quietly funny....but handover expenses minus a couple of receipts and you'll be in mother-in-law territory!
Gai Harvison Petzer
A flame haired beauty and the only person in the Cape Town office who can count. And boy can she count. A native Aussie with a big heart and an even bigger voice. Woe betide anyone who doesn't pay up on time.
Gareth Thomas
The perception that all people from the Bristol area are in fact farmers is an absolute falsehood. Some of them are actually just tractor drivers that can't be called 'proper farmers'. And that's where Gareth comes in. Having failed to get his ploughing degree at Ooh Aaagh University, the lesser known 5th Wurzel cut all ties from his beloved West Country and moved to London. Completely disorientated by the lack of fields and hedgerows Gareth stumbled into The Bank.
Gordon Gray
Gordon cunningly put himself through 5 years of elocution lessons in a desperate bid to disguise his Scottish heritage. Unfortunately all his hard work has been undone since he hasn’t bought a round in over 30 years rather giving his nationality away. Unlucky Gordon.
Hannah Bentley
Hannah is from ooop north and is one of the few people who can pronounce bath and grass correctly. Her nickname is princess for reasons that become obvious when you know her (she's very high maintenance and likes diamonds). She makes a smashing telly ad and can turn her elbows inside out in her spare time.
Ian Cassie
The abolition of the feudal system in 1290 meant Ian had more time on his hands and so began to pursue a career in other avenues. The result of this was The Bank in collaboration with his much older friend Rob. People often say Ian is a man of distinction. And they are correct; he is distinctively untalented and equally unintelligent. People also say that with age comes wisdom! People talk bollocks don't they! I mean he's a Leicester fan. Now where is the wisdom in that!
Jaclyn Watson
Essex girl through and through, Jax has been around a bit (in a work sense) gaining lots of experience along the way (still talking work). She's MD of The Bank Events Co and rightly so since this is one girl who knows exactly how to organise a piss up in a brewery.
JO BROWN
Joanna 'Fingers' Brown is one of the most feared of the great East-End Brown Dynasty. After her brothers Barry the 'Elbow' and 'Tommy Toenails' Brown were convicted of murder in 1971, Jo went underground. Having moved up north under an assumed name, she established the Whitby Bulldogs, whose reign of terror continues very much to this day...
Kerry Stevens
Essex girl Kerry claims she does not conform to the typical Essex girl stereotype. Admittedly she is a brunette, but other than that it is not uncommon to see Kerry roll up with a fake orange tan, mini-skirt and white stilettos.
LINDSAY POWELL
Born in Wolverhampton Lindsay says that is has been horrible to watch her beloved team flounder haplessly as they fail perennially to achieve anything of note. As you can imagine then, Lindsay felt right at home upon joining The Bank. In fairness to Lindsay her form has been somewhat better than Wolves of late, as she had moved swiftly up the ranks to become an integral part of the creative team. Its good to see someone from the black country finally achieve something.
Lucy McCarthy
Lucy McCarthy is a London girl with a little bit of nous about her. A cultured lass, who lived in Paris for a year and studied Greek and Latin classics at Cambridge University. So here’s a little latin classic for you. A equus ingredior in tabernus, Promulgato quare quamobrem porro facies?
Matt Cowley
Matt ran a bar in Spain but became frustrated when Spaniards kept throwing water over his head believing he was on fire. Born in South London he is an avid Chelsea fan and due to their recent (purchased) success has been strutting around the office thinking he's Jack the biscuit. Remember your roots Cowley, they're ginger!
Melissa Agostinelli
Another bloody Aussie shipped over here having been deported for various crimes back in her native country down under. Here as part of the infamous 'off the streets and back to work ya shonkin bludger' program introduced by the Australian embassy, Melissa has settled in surprisingly well at The Bank. She cites the Bank's high ratio of criminals as one of the main reasons she feels so at home.
Nicola Roberts
By day, you'll find her working hard at The Bank (on her Facebook page). By night she tours the pubs & clubs with her Girls Aloud tribute band. Of course, she plays the role of her namesake who she emulates & idolises! This 'pop tart' is multi-talented and makes the pennies roll in by writing songs for an aging pop idol. She won't be here long - she intends to retire at 30 from her royalties. Her free time is spent fighting for equality for ethnic minorities & ginger people.
Rich Ward
Like all great Brummies (contradiction in terms though it maybe) Rich is rightly proud of his birthplace and fond of his childhood, and so he should be. And it would be cruel of me to tease him over the stereotypical notion of the uncouth and unintelligent Brummie! Cruel but fair!
Rob Boughton
Not so much a relic of the cold war as a relic of the Crusades, Rob is officially the oldest man in the world according to the Guinness Book of Records and has held this position for some time. Rob first started to notice he was going bald when it was taking him longer and longer to wash his face. He claims he used to have hair but sadly this predates all records.
Robin Lauffer
Robin is our Planning Director who restores order to the chaos that is The Bank. Born in the good old US of A Robin arrived in London via New York, LA and Brussels. Prone to being a bit of a princess she's our resident Paris Hilton.
RYAN SHAW
Life was tough for old rhino growing up in the foggy streets of Manchester. With his mop of red hair he was often mistaken for Ronald McDonald, and that's no life for any child. Still, the boy had talent and his nimble footy skills were spotted by Man City, where he was offered a trial. Unfortunately for Ryan, he had a mare, the young lad missed a pen and scored an own goal in a truly dreadful performance. They offered him a place regardless, but Ryan was a red devil, and always would be, so he turned it down. Recently Ryan met his all time hero Sir Alex Ferguson. Ryan sweetly remarked that this was a very proud moment for him, and Sir Alex kindly retorted 'Me too, I do love your cheeseburgers'.
Sarah Clark
London girl Sarah is our creative support and a party animal at heart. Despite her place of birth Sarah is actually a Liverpool fan. This is not that surprising though as she actually possesses characteristics of both cities. And before you say anything, no, she is not a miserable, thieving git.
Sarah-Jean Pritchard
Resident Dolly-bird and notorious sun-worshipper, event producer Sarah-Jean or better known around the office as SJ, spends her days playing Bonnie to Jaclyn Watson's Clyde. Self-possessed, astute and always effortlessly well groomed; when she's not topping up on her tan she can be found sampling the delights of Spearmint Rhino.
Simon Hornett
Simon is one of the three class stayers bred from the famous and highly successful Hertfordshire based Hornett stable. A retired stud, this gelding is a true mudlark who thrives being up to his knees in work, yet on calmer days he has also proven to react well to the whip.
Simon Saward
Luckily for us, Simon likes nothing better than curling up with a good, big, fat spreadsheet. A consummate mumbler (often sounds like an old git), this Peter Pan (looks ridiculously young) is a very proud father of two (job done!).
Tanya McAleer
Tanya has one aim in life. To marry. It doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter where all that matters is when - now. Applications should be sent to crazyneedylady.com with a picture attached. But Rob can you put some clothes on for this one.
TOM AIZENBERG
Film nut Tom used to attend drama school inspired by dreams of Hollywood stardom. It was here where Tom was one day given a master class by one of his heroes, none other than the great Ray Winstone. Tom studied Rays acting intently as Ray taught him everything he knew. It was a wonderful ten minutes and Tom learnt many techniques on how to play a hard nut, how to play a hard nut with a soft inside, how to play a soft guy with a hard core and various other forms of acting confectionary. Alas dear Tom shied away from a career on the screen, the fickle fruits of fame and fortune were no temptation for this man of honour. Instead he chose a life on anonymity, and where better to start that career, than right here at The Bank.
Tom Patterson
Tom is yet another bloody Spurs fan. When quizzed to describe himself, he retorted "a Spurs fan who likes a drink." A Spurs fan who needs a drink would have been a more accurate answer. When asked to describe Spurs Tom responded "A perennial underachiever who nobody likes". It's good to know that Tom and his Tottenham have a lot in common.
Tristan Connell
Tristan, our beloved Bank Advertising Managing Director, started life on a houseboat on the Thames. When asked about his dark secrets Tristan reflected that this section best be left untouched. Oh dear! Freud would suggest that much of this can be traced back to a boat house upbringing.
Zsofia Szecsenyi
Zofia Szecsenyi – (easy for you to say) was of course formerly a bond villain before the bottom dropped out of the laser beam moon rocket market in 1997. Since then the Budapest born assassin has carved out a highly successful living as Hungary’s premier Goulash chef, hosting various programmes including the ‘SFZ Word’ and ‘Zofia Szecsenyi Xkitczhean Gnixghktmarezs.’